Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Kindness Ain't Cheap ...
... it's costs my flesh everything [read: pride]!!
If not for God's grace, I surely would have "ripped some heads off" already today. I'm enduring difficult, stress-filled moments that I don't believe are even remotely necessary. Oh, there's people to blame, and its my unbridled desire to crush them with harshness ... to "knock teeth down throats." The way I feel right now is this: life would be so easy if it wasn't for all of these stupid people!!
[deep breath]
(Proverbs 11:17 NIV)
A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.
God is warning me!! God is reasoning with me. He has clarified that "when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" [Proverbs 11:2]. Unfortunately (or maybe, in reality, fortunately) I have no idea of how to go about this right now ... except to pray. Ask for help. The cost that I'm having a hard time paying is the cost of my pride (asking for help) ... and the cost of anger (forgiveness). My flesh really wants to hang on to this stuff, but God is warning me that "a cruel man brings trouble on himself."
So, indulge my flesh, or walk in faith? My flesh argues with true reason, saying, "you're a fool to let this go!!" God says, "you're a fool if you don't let this go!!"
Interestingly, I understand free will more right now than ever. I have the choice of my response. A wise man would see beyond his emotion and at least look at his own experience ... which, in my case, tells me that the results of my choices are not negotiable. God's Word is the unmoveable lighthouse!!
So, basically, I'm staring myself down ... asking, "Well, what's it gonna be ... punk??"
If not for God's grace, I surely would have "ripped some heads off" already today. I'm enduring difficult, stress-filled moments that I don't believe are even remotely necessary. Oh, there's people to blame, and its my unbridled desire to crush them with harshness ... to "knock teeth down throats." The way I feel right now is this: life would be so easy if it wasn't for all of these stupid people!!
[deep breath]
(Proverbs 11:17 NIV)
A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.
God is warning me!! God is reasoning with me. He has clarified that "when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" [Proverbs 11:2]. Unfortunately (or maybe, in reality, fortunately) I have no idea of how to go about this right now ... except to pray. Ask for help. The cost that I'm having a hard time paying is the cost of my pride (asking for help) ... and the cost of anger (forgiveness). My flesh really wants to hang on to this stuff, but God is warning me that "a cruel man brings trouble on himself."
So, indulge my flesh, or walk in faith? My flesh argues with true reason, saying, "you're a fool to let this go!!" God says, "you're a fool if you don't let this go!!"
Interestingly, I understand free will more right now than ever. I have the choice of my response. A wise man would see beyond his emotion and at least look at his own experience ... which, in my case, tells me that the results of my choices are not negotiable. God's Word is the unmoveable lighthouse!!
So, basically, I'm staring myself down ... asking, "Well, what's it gonna be ... punk??"
# posted by jono : 12:23 PM
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In case anyone is wondering, I won the aforementioned battle quite quickly after deciding to do things God's way. How do I define "winning"? Peace in my heart, along with true perspective on the situation ... knowing I didn't dishonor God, myself, or any other individual. There'll be a better time and place to address things. That's what I call a win-win-win situation!! :)
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