The View From Ninety-Two

I'm feeling like a bit of a pawn ... a bit deceived ... but a whole lot better since last night. The story is about Kingdom Building. The moral of the story is not quite clear, though the lesson involves balance. I think that "knowing and then clinging to the truth" is what I'm being taught ... once again. God continues to be gracious and merciful to me.

Without getting into the play-by-play of it all, I've been chasing after an earthly kingdom. My own earthly kingdom. My days and weeks have been filled with strategizing ... looking for ways to make more, have more, etc., etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with making good decisions about the future, but when the decisions and preoccupations revolve, primarily, around finances and what would be good for the here and now ... well, I've been deceived (thorny heart soil).

On my way home from church service yesterday, I felt a reminder of Matthew 6:25-33 ... bottom line: "don't be worried (obsessed with) about worldly things, but seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and you will certainly be taken care of."

The fog was beginning to lift.

Then last night, I was reading a book that led me to a 2 Timothy reference that, in turn, referenced Numbers 16:5. So I turned to Numbers 16, and before I could read verse 5, I read this: (Numbers 15:39 NIV) "You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them and not prostitue yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes."

God had just told the Israelites to put tassels on their garments. Verse 15:39 explained why. And it struck me right then and there that I'd not been primarily building God's Kingdom, but trying (without any success) to build my own.

I've been corrected. I have work to do in terms of "putting tassels on my garments as reminders," but the fog has lifted and I don't feel that desperation in my heart ... I feel peace.